Confusion and Jelousy
by xxFaintRebellianxx
Summary: Have you always wondered how Inuyasha and Kagome really feel about their love for each other, including Kikyo and Inuyasha's love...Explore how both Inuyasha and Kagome think through this and the confusion that lies in their hearts for each other


_**Isnt it bad enough seeing the one you love,cherish someone else...its worse when you look like her...its worse when you don't know who you love...**_

Deceptive Jealousy...

Have you ever seen the one you love, the one you live for...

The one you do everything for...in the arms of another? To meet his gaze but know that he doesn't truly see you, he sees _her_.

She, the one who hurt him...the one who abandoned him...betrayed him...yet he still loves her and chases her...

I, Kagome Higurashi look like her..._Kikyo..._I really don't like being the third wheel, the other girl who loves Inuyasha. I know its selfish but I sometimes wish Inuyasha only saw me..._Kagome_ not _Kikyo_

Jealousy can make one selfish...

Why can't he love me?

Why her?

I mean she is beautiful...and was the first one to fully accept Inuyasha...

I know that if Naraku hadn't interfered with their lives, hadn't killed Kikyo and convinced them both that the other had betrayed them, I would never have met Inuyasha, I wouldn't be spending every day with him. I love him, he loves her, she loves him, he doesn't love me...

Of course I'm content with just being with him...being there for him...

At first Kikyo and Inuyasha's story always filled me with grief. Questions always found their way into my head and I had to keep myself in control so I wouldn't ask.

The pain in his eyes...the agony kept me from asking...

Yet over time I would find myself observing his every move, every flicker of his eyes...the jealousy and hurt that wound itself around me when he would go looking for her, was unbearable.

It confused me...why did I care if he went after her? Why should I worry if he leaves me behind? I just kept lying to myself so the truth wouldn't surface and I wouldn't have to face it.

I was in love...with Inuyasha...

~Kagome

Questionable Love

Its hard...not knowing who you really love...

Both are beautiful and I always want to protect them both.

Still, I don't know what the hell I want.

I can see the pain of betrayal in her eyes...the deadly look in her eyes when she looks at me...seeking revenge for something I didn't do...

Yet when I look into her eyes...Kagome's...they look warm and filled with unknown emotions...just like how Kikyo's used to look like before...that day...that bastard Naraku...

Why is my life so screwed up? I was always alone so I was used to it! Then...Kikyo came into my life like a beautiful sunrise..it was like I had been in darkness for such a long time...

Until she brightened my life...just when I fell for her..._that_ happened...

Inuyasha...the half-breed, a mutant, an abomination to nature. Now I'm a half-breed mutant with a freaking problem!

How should I know who I love! Love has always been stupid to me...just a useless emotion that weakens you and just weighs you down.

Nothing special 'bout it.

Yet, why can I not stop looking out for Kikyo...If I hear her name...if I feel her presence...

My heart starts beating full of hope and I can't help but go look for her!

And then I have to deal with Kagome...I know it hurts her when I leave...

I can tell she doesn't enjoy me going after Kikyo...I know she must hate me!

Yet I can't leave Kagome either!

What the hell! Damn it all! Why couldn't they just be one person! It'd be so much more easier...

But they're each different and unique...should I let go of the girl I lost before and move on with the one I've stumbled upon...

Or forget her and return to my past...

I'm just thinking here...but...why would they love _me?_ I'm not good for them...they'd only be in constant danger...sometimes I wish I hadn't met any of them..but if I hadn't...I wouldn't be experiencing all these things...laughter, pain, love, warmth, strength, friendship...

I'm in love with two girls who are one yet aren't... one close and one distant...

~Inuyasha

**_ok so its finally done! and uploaded! please review! i feel like i should have included kikyo but i dont know...shes not my favorite character...if you want me to include kikyo's part i might consider it! inuyasha's part sure was hard...i had to really think about how he feels and how he would think about kikyo and kagome...so yeah im srry if he doesnt meet your expectations! _**

**_bye bye! enjoy~ ~jenny _**


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